121. wait, what?

I think I might just keep waking up in tears and sweats from nightmare of failing papers and low carry marks for the next few weeks. 

Guys, listen.

Listen;

I'm graduating. 

I need to keep myself together and say this one more time, I'm graduating. 

I'm just...... full of smiles and tears right now, like my face- it's ridiculous. And the fact that I was just having my last and worst viva few hours prior only adding to all of these surrealness. 

I want to hug that crying little girl who keep calling her mom to quit medical school almost every freaking year, if only you know you'll make it. 

Damn... what a 6 years. 

I can't even begin to describe how the past 5 to 6 weeks has been like, or really, how the past 9 months has been like, the past 6 years- IT'S CRAZY

I only realize this now, but really I was just trying to..live. Live here. Or better yet I was just trying to survive. Doing the thing I'm doing. I know the end of it will eventually be this : i'll be graduating medical school if I pass. But now that it actually happen I'm not sure how I am suppose to feel, this now is just: wait, what? 

Also somehow someway the past 6 years suddenly felt like somekind of a joke life is subtly playing me. Just.. 

Really, WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPEN? 

Maybe I need a little time to adjust myself now. 

Just the amount of feelings I have right now is insane.