When I'm actually serabut, with not enough time at hands, when I am actually really-really busy with things that'd cause the actual death of me, I'd always choose to write. sometimes I draw- it really just merely scribbles with colours.
I dont realize it until jasmine point it out to me yang I love pens. Time tu I see how I just cant stop myself from buying pens every time I see any new one yang cute. And I use those to just doodle stuffs.
I am serabut now.
I like typing my thoughts out, and I always feel like writing is a much better way for me to express myself. Writing is my catharsis. Whenever I'm in any social situation my mind doesn't really work out much, like a lil bit out of control. Um, nope. It's not out of control, it's just that I can't think much before start doing or saying something. That's why I think the best way to describe myself when I'm in front of people is just a teeny tiny line between either just being insanely happy or just embarrassingly awkward.
I wish I can just write instead of having to do/ say something.
Yesterday I don't know how to feel about this whole thing. Today we got a photo shoot and I realize I love these people. I love these girls. I actually like some of the guys.
And I always got a little tense in front of guys just generally, now more than ever, because flashback of how I behave just in front of anyone from my past keep on playing in the back of my mind, and I always feel like guys especially are just quick to catch on things, and are going to just tattle about me. And I know that this is not what actually happen, no one cares to just observe everything I was doing, but honestly that's what I actually thought. I'm messed up like that.
Then thoba told me, " lelaki tak macam tu la nais, diorang tak judgy macamtu.."
O...kay.
I hope so.
Please be so.
So I'm just gonna keep that in my mind now.
I'm also extremely nervous in front of pretty girls. keke
But anyway I need to continue kemas bilik, and I just take my time off kejap writing this because I actually like today.
I'm gonna miss this group of people. I don't think I'll find another group of people yang as nice as this girls. So so so nice to me. Always says things that I love, cantik la, penceria suasana la, happy go lucky la, even actually give me the attention LOL
can you tell that I'm happy?
XD
xoxo
I dont realize it until jasmine point it out to me yang I love pens. Time tu I see how I just cant stop myself from buying pens every time I see any new one yang cute. And I use those to just doodle stuffs.
I am serabut now.
I like typing my thoughts out, and I always feel like writing is a much better way for me to express myself. Writing is my catharsis. Whenever I'm in any social situation my mind doesn't really work out much, like a lil bit out of control. Um, nope. It's not out of control, it's just that I can't think much before start doing or saying something. That's why I think the best way to describe myself when I'm in front of people is just a teeny tiny line between either just being insanely happy or just embarrassingly awkward.
I wish I can just write instead of having to do/ say something.
Yesterday I don't know how to feel about this whole thing. Today we got a photo shoot and I realize I love these people. I love these girls. I actually like some of the guys.
And I always got a little tense in front of guys just generally, now more than ever, because flashback of how I behave just in front of anyone from my past keep on playing in the back of my mind, and I always feel like guys especially are just quick to catch on things, and are going to just tattle about me. And I know that this is not what actually happen, no one cares to just observe everything I was doing, but honestly that's what I actually thought. I'm messed up like that.
Then thoba told me, " lelaki tak macam tu la nais, diorang tak judgy macamtu.."
O...kay.
I hope so.
Please be so.
So I'm just gonna keep that in my mind now.
I'm also extremely nervous in front of pretty girls. keke
But anyway I need to continue kemas bilik, and I just take my time off kejap writing this because I actually like today.
I'm gonna miss this group of people. I don't think I'll find another group of people yang as nice as this girls. So so so nice to me. Always says things that I love, cantik la, penceria suasana la, happy go lucky la, even actually give me the attention LOL
can you tell that I'm happy?
XD
xoxo
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